My Young Years..

I have only recently discovered that I am the type of girl who will only do something if it’s worth doing or if it’s something I enjoy. Take music or even chicken burgers for example.. I truly enjoy it. From reading the menu, to ordering, to waiting to see that delicious burger being walked over to me, to smelling the aroma of the freshly fried chicken smothered in aioli, to taking the first bite. I enjoy the entire process from start to finish, every single time. Even the food coma afterwards. 

Music, is much similar. It's the moment you click on a new song you’ve never heard before and you know as soon as it started for the very first time, that it was going to be played on repeat for the next 10 days. Those lyrics will be burned into your brain and you will perform that song at every set of lights you set off from because you love it and it makes you feel good.  

Waking up at 6am to go to the same job, to do the same things every single day.. is just not my cup of tea. I prefer coffee, cappuccino with one sugar and that delicious chocolate powder on top if you were wondering. I like working in a creative environment where everyday is new and everyday I have the control over what I do. I also like music, so I need it on, at a reasonably loud volume to level out my overthinking. 

In regards to rules. I’m not very good at being under a stronger leadership than my own. In saying that, if it's the police i'm usually first to roll over. They make me nervous even when i'm doing nothing wrong but if it’s work, I’ll try my best to persuade the person to follow or at least let me have a large part in the creative process because I work better when I have the ability to think and move freely. As soon as I am confined to a particular set of guidelines I begin to overthink it. When I start to over think, I start to second guess myself and that’s when I become the lesser version of myself and produce a completely different quality of work. If I can just dive in head first and go, that’s when I’m the best version of myself. Don't get me wrong I respect advice, constructive criticism and would never turn down help because nine times out of ten someone else's perspective always helps.

Currently, I have an irrational fear of failing because today, for some apparent reason, there is this race taking place where every person under 25 must be at the peak of their career as soon as they can. If you’re not, you’re considered a failure. You mightn’t know the race is taking place but you can feel it. The constant “where am I, what am I doing, what’s my bank balance, I need to do this, I need to do that, look at him, look at her, what am I doing, where am I” it’s a never ending cycle of negative energy. I’m 22 and I’m still trying to understand what it is that makes me tick. No doubt do I wish I knew, but I also know the harsh reality that is, it doesn’t just happen over night and there is no reason to beat yourself up over it. 

The steps to my career aren’t as long or short as any other person my age. A young man or woman studying to be a doctor has a lot more steps to reach the peak of their career than someone who wants to work in customer service. It’s a different path and there is a completely different time frame involved. So how can we push this race on every young person when we’re not in the same race at all. 

Not to mention, why is there a need to race each other. We are all in such a hurry to get somewhere but we don’t even know where we are really going. We want lavish possessions, trips to exotic places and to be surrounded by people whom we don’t even relate to just because they’re ‘well known’. We are more concerned with how many likes we get than how many hours we can spare to spend quality time with the people we love to be around. Just because one girl has thirty options of clothing to wear to an event doesn't mean that one dress you have doesn't do the job just as well. We are all unique and destined for different futures. The majority of successes aren’t built over night no matter how much we’d like them to be and the amount of materialistic items we have definitely does not define us.

I have friends that do the 9-5pm job, 5 days a week. They’re content, comfortable and can do as they please. Some also wish they were doing something else but don’t like the idea of leaving that stability. That’s their irrational fear. I also have friends that are the percentage that aren’t considered ‘the norm’ like myself. Some of the happiest people I know and also some of the most stressed. We are a total mix. No one the same. We must not force our own opinions or fears onto others because they're not doing what a large percentage of people are doing.

I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve tried to change my mind and convince myself 9-5 is better than the inconsistency of working for yourself. It’s like the broken record of all broken records and yet I still come back to where I am. I’m not sure if that’s stubbornness or the passion in side of me to make it work. That’s another thing I’m working on because when you’re young and just starting out, it’s a constant process, there’s no stop or start. Everyday is new and everyday we feel and do different things that will contribute to our future. The main thing is that we remember that it is ok to be different, to step onto a path that some fear and be a little messy sometimes and it's also ok to step onto the path of 9-5. Both equally correct for the right person.

#blog #travel #life #explore #adventure #work